Heartbreak & Grief

Sounds like a sad subject doesn't it?  However, personally I love it when new information comes to me.  It's as if I get an electrical charge!  Learning does that to me!!

 Recently I can across a FB video where the woman explained that heartbreak is the time to examine myself as it actually opens the heart.  It reveals the "crap" in me.  No other word for it.  The ugliness that we all have hidden deep inside finds a way out when the heart cracks open.  It reveals the patterns in my life that caused that person to want to leave.  It doesn't feel like the path to take at the time, but there really is no other way.

Grief naturally follows loss and was explained to me as an "irrecoverable loss where I am estranged from myself".  Normal things that brought me comfort & a feeling of security in my life are at once foreign & strange.
When you lose someone you love, 
you are longing for the reassurance they gave you, and longing for something you've lost in yourself:

the way they saw you, 
the way they felt about you, 
the way you understood yourself when you were with them.

No wonder I felt completely lost!  Everything in my life changed.  Not only was I losing my spouse of 35 years, but my family, my home, my job, my province.  Was there anything left of me?
The heartbreak was cracking my existence open, firstly to let the garbage out, but also to let the sun shine in!  To shine the light on who I really was deep inside.  I had to take the time to "find myself" and embrace who I had been all along.  

The good news is, I found her!  I love who I am!  I've become who I was meant to be! My goal now is to be the best version of myself that I can possibly be.